jellyfish

(no subject)

ugh. i am in a bad mood. my bf asked me to go to a bbq for one his friends. i said sure. turns out no one else we know is going. this is just going to suck. i hate going to parties where i dont know anyone at all. my bf is quiet and does not talk to other people, he hardly even talks to me. so pretty much i will be sitting there like a lump-and so will he. this is just so friggin annoying. y woudldnt he tell me that none of our other friends are going? i think that is something u would find out beforehand, not just an hr before it is time to leave. i am in a really crapy mood now. i dont feel like getting dressed up, in this nasty humid hot heat, driving an hr with food, walking in boston to find their place, and then sit there bored to death. grrrr!! i hate summer, incase u cant tell. and i have no ac yet so i am really pissy.
jellyfish

(no subject)

i am addicted to shopping.. but only for work clothes. on the weekend i bum around like the biggest slob ever. yoga pants tank tops and too short hoodies. today i bought this really cute shirt from ann taylor...and j.jill. i need some more work pants though but am picky and not many are that comfortable. i think i am gonna go iron my clothes for the work week. 4 days. 6 hrs of OT. since i had to go to the ER last night for my stomach problemss, I had to cancel babysitting with only 30 mins to go. my stomach pains came on at 5 pm and i was supposed to be there at 7. i was in so much pain and crying and kept calling my BF that by the time i made up my mind on whethre or not i should go to the hospital, there were only 30 mins. left and i was in pain and tears and my bf had to call for me to tell the people i wouldnt be able to sit for them..i FELT SO BAD. at least they were only having dinner...but still. i hope they let me babysit next week...and I hope that i have the gut to face them! they are a great family and are very well off and i need the extra income... mmmmm..anyway..who knows when i will update again. i never have the time/patience to type how i feel in here.
jellyfish

(no subject)

i got my reject letter from grad school today..and i need to babysit for this couple in 1.5 hrs..i am full of anxiety and stress and dont know how the hell i am going to pull it off. my stomach hurts, my head hurts, and i just feel depressed. no where to go, nothing to do. my life just keeps getting worse.
jellyfish

(no subject)

update, i applied to grad school- master of social work.. i hope i get in. i am sorta worried because deadlines have already passed and they still have not cashed my check. i am going to call during my lunch on tuesday to see if they have received my package. if not, i dont know what i will do. i sent another envelope to boston for my health insurance and that has been over 4 weeks and they said they didn't get it, so i need to send it all again. i hand delivered both to the post office to the person to ensure correct postage.. blah!

what else is new. nothing else really. going to lots of good concerts in march...bright eyes, glassjaw, matt pond.

starting my healthy eating feb 28. working on it with my coworkers at work, my entire company is having a contest to see which team is "healthiest". we have to track our daily exercise, water, sleep, veggies, etc. i am considering starting curves, because i go to planet fitness but i am just paying and not going. i hate that gym.

i am still decorating my apartment...hanging up some more curtains. trying to grow some herbs and filling the rooms with greenery.

-g.lupe
jellyfish

(no subject)

My head is filled with disease.
My skin is begging you please.
I'm on my hands and knees
I want so much to believe.
- nin

no friends. no family. what else is left for me on this planet?

i give up. i need to move. i don't trust anyone anymore. people are so fucking fake.
jellyfish

(no subject)

applying for jobs seems sooo useless. i sit at the comp for hrs at a time and apply for everything and anything, and then never even get a call back. i have a job, and it's still tough. i can't even imagine NOT having a job and doing this. that is prob why i am applying....i feel like i have no job security. i needdddd to go back to school. i could make more money waitressing, seriously.
jellyfish

(no subject)

all i want is for things to be like how they used to be. i miss all my friends. what can i do about this?
does anyone want to hang out?
it's hard because we live so far away.....but i need to make this work.
i am slowly dying here. i feel like i have no meaning in life.